Thursday, January 11, 2007

Oh, balls!

There are three kinds of balls in this world.

Two of them are harmless enough: 1. balls used in sports such as baseball, basketball, soccer, etc.; 2. and edible balls of popcorn, walnuts, marzipan, etc.

The other type is a little more adult-rated (but almost as edible). Also known as testicles, nuts, the family jewels, cajones, juevos, or "the Boys," this type is a misunderstood, often abused, and underappreciated part of the male anatomy.

Euphemisms about a man's balls abound. People often refer to them in order to describe the masculinity, virility, and/or bravery of a person (at times, even a female!). The implication is often that larger balls means more of these qualities. "He's got a lot of nerve," has been replaced with, "Man, that guy's got balls!" or, "Wow, get a load of the set on that guy!"

These references have been around for ages in bars, gyms, and in the locker room, but lately I've heard more and more testicle references on television. In fact, 2007 seems to be shaping up as The Year of the Testicle! Comments abound on such shows as Law & Order, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Heros, House, and of course Family Guy. To me, this lackadaisical use of the word "balls" was at first shocking, then humorous, and now extremely intriguing.

I have always been a fan of big, low-hangin' nutsacks, but hearing others (like that dishy Christopher Meloni on Law & Order: SVU, a man who's shown his own impressive nut sack on every third episode of the HBO series Oz) talk about balls makes me wetter than a bath house beach towel. But, where did all this pushing the envelope begin?

By the way, aren't all these pictures amazing? To me, the size a man's nut sack is always a determinant in how sexually attractive he is. Don't get me wrong, the primary issue is, and always will be, how big his cock is. If a guy has big balls but a small cock, it ain't gonna happen. Then again, if a guy has a big cock and no ball sack, I ain't goin' for that shit either. Luckily there are a lot of guys out there who have both, and I'm ready to take on every last one of 'em.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That first set of balls is fuckin unbelievable!! Unless the guy's cock is tiny, they're at least the size of tennis balls. I wonder how much seed they're bloated with?! Probably enough to overflow a couple of shot glasses. Easy. Peter North, eat your heart out!!! :)

Anonymous said...

I must admit that I share with you this love for bid unhanced balls. i believe they are the best part of a man.A nig dick without a big pair of nuts in very unattractive.i really like your blog so go ahead.