Return of the Chest Hair!...

Okay, what the fuck is up with all the trimming that's going on all over Hollywood? When did the War Against Chest Hair begin, and why didn't Congress refuse to appropriate funds?

Some of you may recall the 1970s (others may have read about it in your History textbooks) when chest hair on a Hollywood hunk was not only tolerated, but was expected. Guys like Burt Reynolds, Robert Redford, Ryan O'Neal, Lee Majors, Pernell Roberts, Paul Michael Glaser (aka Starsky), and countless others seemed to have been hand picked specifically because of their amazingly hairy chests!

This trend even continued into the 1980s, somewhat. Guys like Tom Selleck, Jon Bonjovi, Pierce Brosnon, Brian Bloom, and other deliciously hairy 80s stars.









But something happened in the 90s. Suddenly, as if a depilatory had been introduced into the Los Angeles water supply, the chest hair just disappeared. Almost overnight, the stars' chests were all smooth as a baby's bottom. What happened?! For over a decade, we fur lovers suffered through a dirth of manly men, being forced to deal with the likes of Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Johnny Depp, and George Clooney. Mostly good looking, I'll admit, but hardly the kind of men I'd call sexy.


This trend even got so bad that formerly hairy stars like Jon Bonjovi started pretending they'd been smooth all along. When I saw this picture, I cried for three days. "Why'd ya do it, Jon?"


The good news is, the Hairy-is-Sexy-Again message is starting to sink it...and it's amazing how many of those stars we thought were smooth, have turned out to have been hairy all along.

Check out this image of Jude Law, for instance. Look at them legs, kids! Now that's one hairy dude! You'd never have guessed it from his earlier films (e.g., The Talented Mr. Ripley).






If you doubt my assessment, take stock. Some of the biggest stars to hit the silver screen are doing so with chests that look like the floor of a barber shop, and I couldn't be happier about it. Matthew Fox from ABC's "Lost" is a great example. (I read an interview with Matthew Fox this morning, by the way, in which he said he delights in being nude in public. He explained that he was raised in a family that didn't deliniate being clothed from not being clothed, so he's comfortable either way...but likes to shock people. How long 'til the tabloids catch a glimpse?)

So is Jason Lee from "My Name is Earl." Both are very hairy, sexy in their own way, and represent what I hope is a lasting new trend in Hollywood.




Now, if we can just get Jeremy Piven (star of HBO's Entourage") to stop waxing and return to that primal hairiness that used to frighten women and make men nervous, we'll be back to normal. Until then, the terrorists have won.


Comments are welcomed, as always.