Celebrity Bulges...

As long as I'm admitting obsessions here, let me unleash this little ditty. I love celebrity bulges! [click on the images to see them full sized]

And there seem to be a helluva lot of 'em out there to love. Does anyone else notice this, or is it just me? One of the most consistent in television is David Letterman. Although he spends most of each episode behind a desk, Letterman shows his goods from time to time in pretaped sketches, many of which show him in jeans. And if he's in jeans, you're gonna see that bulge, guaranteed. I'm serious, it looks like he's smuggling chipmonks in there!


And Letterman's not the only one. Check out these press release images of Michael Bolton! Early in his career as a singer (he was a successsful song writer long before that), Bolton apparently loved showing off his bulging man package. How else can one explain this image? Click on it!...but don't put your eyes too close to the screen or you may lose one!

My theory is, he likes to "go commando," his handlers think it will attract a largely female audience, the women (and 10% of the men) go ga-ga over it but think it too uncooth to say anything aloud, so we all go around pretending we're not looking at Bolton's HUGE, cantelope sized bulge. If you're lucky enough to catch an airing of his Love is a Wonderful Thing video (not aired much anymore due to the copyright lawsuit he lost), you can see his bulge in about half of the scenes. That's when I fell in love!


I've had this habit for as long as I can remember, by the way. Even back in the 70s when I was a kid, I tuned in to watch The Dukes of Hazzard for just such a purpose. That Bo Duke (aka, John Schneider) was another one who absolutely refused to wear underwear -- or maybe it was the producers who refused to let him --, and my eyes reaped the benefits. My favorite such encounter was the episode entitled "Find Loretta Lynn," in which Loretta co-stars, and Schneider gives her quite an eyefull. (The best part is, Schneider's a big ol' born again Christian these days, so seeing his huge cock straining against them jeans is as sacrilegious it is delicious!)

Stars of country music were apparently influenced in number of ways by "them Duke boys." Check out country singer Aaron Tippen. He's best known for this bulging biceps, but I've noticed an even more impressive bulge on his body, and I don't think it's just because of the ball-pinching cut of the Wranglers.

I hate country music, but while clicking through the tv channels, I sometimes find myself stopping on CMT, hitting the mute button, and staring in wide-eyed wonder at this man's crotch. It's not just the goodies inside that make me horny, it's also the fact that he has the audacity to prance around on a stage, with thousands of people watching him...and you know a lot of 'em are looking exactly where I am.

If the good folks of Star Trek are any indication, the future holds many more opportunities for us bulge gawkers. Check out these screen caps from an early episode in the original series. This guy's being choked by telekenesis, which this actor took as a cue to shove his crotch into the camera. With all the fuss being made over that kiss between Kirk and Uhura, you'd think the censors would have thrown a fit over this scene, but it apparently slipped by. Incredible!